Saturday, February 11, 2012

Supermarket heroes

I Can Be Your Hero..

If you are a parent you are not just a caretaker, you are a trainer 24/7! And for that I salute you. Knowing what to do in unexpected, tough situations doesn't always come easy. Especially when you are on-call at all hours. 

That's why I like to help you guys out in the supermarket isle or, when I was working as a cashier, in the checkout line. You see, tantrums aren't always expected, nor are they always prevented (duh, tell me something I don't know!). But I'm the kind person who will distract a child long enough to enable the parent a quick escape from the evil villain, Mr. Tantrum.

Mr. Tantrum has a superpower: he (or she) appears in front of sugary foods everywhere with a vengeful, beet red face and ceaseless screams. Mr. Tantrum most often appears before a late lunch or dinner, when his (or her) powers are at maximum.

But I have a superpower as well, tantrum distraction! I spot a child sitting in a cart with dad strolling in the cookie isle. The child belts out "Dad I want this!" as he grabs a box of double stuffed double chocolate Oreos from the shelf. I can see Dad's reaction, the answer will most certainly be a stern "No" and yanking away the cookies with an ensuing fit soon to follow out the supermarket doors when shopping is over, a half hour later. So without hesitation I start up my tantrum distraction with a quick "Hey dude, can you do any 'tricks'?"

At this point the child will either blush a furious shade or red for being asked such a strange question by a stranger and refuse to talk at all, or they'll cock their head to the side and ponder what I mean. If they are really clever they'll shout out a resounding "Yes!" and show me what it means to "do tricks". Mostly I get that head cocked to the side. In which case I offer a series of high-fives: High, low, side, side, low again? Aww, too slow!

In any of the above scenarios the parent is able to use their own superpower of distraction, grabcookieswhilekidisdistractedandputbackonshelf!

After the sugar-bombs are back on the shelf Dad runs to the meat dept. for a safe escape...

Copyright 2013 Caitlin Bird
The Sequential Psittacine Blog
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